Dougal McRougal



Level 1 Jester


Ever since I can remember, I’ve always enjoyed a good joke. When I was eight, I managed to swap the candied apples at the harvest festival with candied onions. At ten, my uncle Nord would go to the sea nearby to fish. Generally, he caught more Z’s than fish on these trips, so one day it occurred to me how easy he would be to prank. I caught an eel and cleverly sewed its head onto the body of a squirrel and replaced the squirrel’s tail with that of a large lizard. While uncle Nord was snoring, I attached my creation to his line. I returned to the woods and came back calling my uncle’s name as though I had just arrived. He awoke and when I asked how the fishing was going he began pulling in his line. At this point, I began tapping the butt of his pole to lead him to believe he had caught something. When he pulled it out and saw what it was, he immediately ran back to town to show everyone. The town mayor paid him 2 gold for it and preserved it in some smelly liquid claiming that it was a baby sea monster and that the king would want to know of this. I hear he sold it to some noble in a nearby city where he still charges people 2 copper a piece to view to his abomination. When I was fifteen, I placed a large beetle inside of a hollowed out apple and watched with glee as the priest and everyone else in town became frantic believing it to be possessed. A noble happened to be in town that day, and upon learning the truth found it so hilarious that he decided to hire me then and there as his court jester.

My life as a jester was great. I was well paid to sleep in, eat well, and hang out with rich people. In return, all I had to do was tell them the truth about themselves in a joking manner. During this time, I learned to play the lute, sing some amusing songs, and perform some acrobatics. I also spent my time thinking of new jokes to play on the uptight scribe and historian Gringe. At one point, I put together an unintelligible manuscript and had it sent to him with a note stating that our lord had acquired it from an ancient Fay (a language he is supposedly versed in) civilization and wanted it translated immediately. Entertainingly, Gringe produced one at once and presented it to the lord who was already in on my joke. Another time, just before the site for a new castle turret was to be excavated, I placed some stone carvings with an elaborate set of circles, figures, and other meaningless symbols in the ground to be found. Of course these were taken to the lord who ordered Gringe to interpret them. Again, he spent hours poring over them and came up with a most elaborate interpretation much to the amusement of Lord Fausworth.

Alas, all great things must come to an end. While at court, I learned that a rival lord, bent on taking my lord’s lands was invading from the north. While I loved Fausworth, I knew well he was a man of leisure not of battle. When I heard of his plan to hold the castle with the nearest backup being at least 10 days away, against the much larger force, I knew it was my time to bow out. As all were preparing for the battle, I quickly bribed my way out the east gate and haven’t looked back. I traveled east for many days on the money I had saved as a jester until I came to an inn in some small village in the middle of nowhere. Planning on heading out the next day but running low on funds, a help wanted notice caught my eye. Fortune and adventure might be just the thing for me. Surely, I can trick a monster or two out of some loot and possibly hire a jester of my own one day.

Dougal McRougal

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